rubbersoulful

Anonymous asked:

Could you explain the whole "i don’t really have depression, i’m actually just a lazy piece of shit" = you've got depression, thing? It rang a bell for me and I'd like to know what you meant. Thanks :)

roachpatrol answered:

one of the most insidious things about depression is it doesn’t ‘feel’ like depression. even when you have it, you know you have it, you’ve been diagnosed—you still find yourself thinking, no, nope, this isn’t it, can’t be. it’s like the mental illness equivalent of that knight in monty python that keeps going ‘it’s a flesh wound! i’m fine, really! this is just a scratch, i’ll be up in a moment!’ even after all his limbs have been hacked off and he’s lying there helpless.

one of the most common narratives around it is that no one realizes they have depression until they start checking off what they consider to be normal aspects of their lives—and personal character flaws— against the checklist for depression symptoms. really key symptoms include:

  1. lack of motivation
  2. constant tiredness, even exhaustion
  3. finding no pleasure or satisfaction in activities they used to like, or that they know should feel good
  4. not seeing the point of doing anything
  5. increased and even unmanageable anxiety and fearfulness

any one of these symptoms drains away your ability to do work, cope with setbacks, overcome difficulties, or stop procrastinating. multiple symptoms create a pretty perfect storm of intertia and anxious self-loathing. you stop doing anything because it’s hard to get going, unpleasant while you’re at it, and afterwards there’s no reward. why bother, right? and when you’re always tired you get conservative of what little energy you can manage, and when you only feel emotions on the ‘empty to miserable’ spectrum you get really aversive to making mistakes. the whole mess very quickly and very insidiously loads every single thing in your life with toxic emotional baggage.   

and then someone says to you— or you say to yourself, ‘stop being lazy’. and that haunts you forever. because you’re lazy! the work is so easy. everyone else does it. everyone but you, you lazy asshole, lying around all day not doing this totally easy thing that you should be able to but aren’t. you don’t have depression! of course not. mental illness is for victims, is for blameless innocent people who can’t be blamed for being so understandably sick. but you can be blamed. you have a character flaw, and it’s getting worse by the minute. 

and that is how people who have been diagnosed, who have been medicated, who have been through therapy, can still spend all day hiding in bed and chewing themselves up over their failure to just somehow magically be a good, healthy, useful person, instead of treating themselves to a sick day and saying ‘yup! it’s depression. i need to be kind to myself.’

hyperallergic
hyperallergic:

(via Paul McCarthy’s XXXmas Tree Plugs Up Paris)
American artist Paul McCarthy has erected his latest Christmas-themed work, “Tree,” and it has plugged up Paris’s Place Vendome for the FIAC Contemporary Art Fair. Regardless of how you feel about the 80-foot-tall work, and its symbolism, I think we can all agree that the massive inflatable sculpture is not only supposed to be a Christmas tree.
READ MORE

i mean come on, it’s fucking paul mccarthy, making buttplugs and abject sculpture is KIND OF HIS THING

hyperallergic:

(via Paul McCarthy’s XXXmas Tree Plugs Up Paris)

American artist Paul McCarthy has erected his latest Christmas-themed work, “Tree,” and it has plugged up Paris’s Place Vendome for the FIAC Contemporary Art Fair. Regardless of how you feel about the 80-foot-tall work, and its symbolism, I think we can all agree that the massive inflatable sculpture is not only supposed to be a Christmas tree.

READ MORE

i mean come on, it’s fucking paul mccarthy, making buttplugs and abject sculpture is KIND OF HIS THING

fuckyeahfemaleyoutubers

fuckyeahfemaleyoutubers:

Don’t expect people to love you forever just because you’ve come to the conclusion that women are people. […] It’s a very low bar being set, that bar being basic human decency. So, like, well done on meeting that standard, but let’s be honest - you’re not yet Captain America. (And by that I mean just an indescribably good person who frankly we could all learn a lot from). In that same vein, now that you are a feminist, rather than just declaring that over and over again, why not go out and do some feminist-y things?

I don’t care about your flower beard - Over17Mirrors

bigbangpress
bigbangpress:

nonmodernist:

Geek Girl Con 2014!
Come check out our rad panel this weekend:
From Feels to Skills: Putting Fandom on Your Resume
Time: Sunday, 10/12, 10:00 AM - 10:50 AM Location: RM204
You may not think that all those hours spent devouring Johnlock fanfic or painstakingly editing your Tumblr gif-set mean much outside of fandom, but you’re actually learning all kinds of skills that can make you stand out as a job candidate. Join a group of fans who’ve turned their passions into career assets for this interactive look at ways your fandom is building your resume.
About the panelists:
Aja Romano is a fandom and geek culture reporter for DailyDot.com. She previously reported on fandom and geek culture for the Mary Sue and served as a “slash expert” for The Backlot (AfterElton).
Alexandra Edwards is an Emmy-award-winning transmedia storyteller. As a transmedia producer and writer for Pemberley Digital, she has worked on the “Lizzie Bennet Diaries”, “Welcome to Sanditon”, and “Emma Approved”.
Amanda Brennan is an internet librarian who specializes in researching the history of memes and other viral content throughout the web. She is currently on the Content & Community team at Tumblr where she explores and evaluates trends throughout the network.
Lauren Orsini is a technology journalist in Washington, DC. She writes about developer issues, tech education, and DIY hardware hacking for ReadWrite.
Loraine Sammy has participated online in multiple fandoms in comic books, gaming, music, movies, and television since 1997. As an artist she has worked professionally in the gaming industry and as a freelancer. As an activist she has co-founded the media representation organization Racebending.com.

Big Bang Press publicity coordinator Alex nonmodernist is at Geek Girl Con this weekend! This is her panel, and she’ll also be giving away a couple of spare ARCs of A Hero At The End Of The World, if you come say hi. Check out her Twitter for more details. :)

bigbangpress:

nonmodernist:

Geek Girl Con 2014!

Come check out our rad panel this weekend:

From Feels to Skills: Putting Fandom on Your Resume

Time: Sunday, 10/12, 10:00 AM - 10:50 AM
Location: RM204

You may not think that all those hours spent devouring Johnlock fanfic or painstakingly editing your Tumblr gif-set mean much outside of fandom, but you’re actually learning all kinds of skills that can make you stand out as a job candidate. Join a group of fans who’ve turned their passions into career assets for this interactive look at ways your fandom is building your resume.

About the panelists:

  • Aja Romano is a fandom and geek culture reporter for DailyDot.com. She previously reported on fandom and geek culture for the Mary Sue and served as a “slash expert” for The Backlot (AfterElton).
  • Alexandra Edwards is an Emmy-award-winning transmedia storyteller. As a transmedia producer and writer for Pemberley Digital, she has worked on the “Lizzie Bennet Diaries”, “Welcome to Sanditon”, and “Emma Approved”.
  • Amanda Brennan is an internet librarian who specializes in researching the history of memes and other viral content throughout the web. She is currently on the Content & Community team at Tumblr where she explores and evaluates trends throughout the network.
  • Lauren Orsini is a technology journalist in Washington, DC. She writes about developer issues, tech education, and DIY hardware hacking for ReadWrite.
  • Loraine Sammy has participated online in multiple fandoms in comic books, gaming, music, movies, and television since 1997. As an artist she has worked professionally in the gaming industry and as a freelancer. As an activist she has co-founded the media representation organization Racebending.com.

Big Bang Press publicity coordinator Alex nonmodernist is at Geek Girl Con this weekend! This is her panel, and she’ll also be giving away a couple of spare ARCs of A Hero At The End Of The World, if you come say hi. Check out her Twitter for more details. :)